I really, really miss my mom. It’s been almost three months since she passed away, but I still can’t get over it. Not that I am expected to, but I believe I should have gotten over the crying fits right now. I saw her in pain. I should have been glad to see her go. But I’m not. *sigh*
This is my first Christmas without her. I long for the early Christmas gifts, the delicious food only she can cook, the warm hugs and the words “merry Christmas baby”. I miss all those things. Above all, I miss her. (huhu)
Last night, I talked to a friend (a professor, a psychologist, whatever you may call her) and she offered the most soothing words one can offer. She said it was normal for me to be on this stage.
I’m killing myself, I know I do. But, life goes on and I can’t harp on what I’ve already lost forever. And as one friend told me, I didn’t really lose it. It’s all there, inside me.
Labels: diary, senti
the Org
after a nice meal (Kuya Aeron, Gellie, Jessant, Liza, Amie, Ate Venus, me, Ria, Ate Bienne, Patrick)
is fast approaching, so my friends from our news org and I went on an early Chirstmas party. Our first plan was a little party at school, but since our TA was not able come, we decided to go malling.
We went to
SM Sta. Rosa. I was late (lol) so they ate first at the food court. We held a little exchange gift,too. Ate Venus, our Art Directress picked my gift, which was a set of
oil pastels (nice pick). I got a towel from her. Hahaha.
Then, we went to
Karaoke Hub for a singing spree. I discovered that Patrick has a passion for rock, and that Jessant has a very nice voice. Ate Bienne and I had some duets, of course, with the others singing with us. We all had a good time, singing, chatting and cheering each other.
It was a really, really nice party, and I'm looking forward to be with them again.
I SO HEART CADUCEUS NEWS ORGANIZATION!Labels: diary
Santa Claus sent back a letter! Here it is:
Hohoho Mae, Are you kidding ol' Santa Claus?! You can't possibly be 17 years old already! Why it seems like only yesterday that I was leaving presents for a certain little girl and here you are now, practically one of Santa's elves!
It's nice to have some grown up teens still believing in us. I'm so excited that I'm going to visit your home in Sta. Rosa with Buddy the Elf.
Have you been a good girl this year? Of course you don't mind a little checking but I hear that you were good most of the time. I'm very proud of you. Santa likes bringing toys to teens who listen to their parents, are nice to other people, and do their best at school.
Think hard and do the best you can. Remember to give answers that are honest. Keep in mind, that I will know if you are lying. . . I check my list twice. And for goodness sake, don't forget that this is Santa you're talking to!
Buddy the Elf told me that you want _____ for Christmas, and I'm going to do my best to bring you that or something that you really like.
And remember...only -1075 more nights until Christmas!!
A Merry Christmas to you Mae!!
Santa
WOW.
